Oh pre kid Annessia, you idiot.
Two (almost three) kids later, hundreds of hours of rocking and generally inconveniencing myself for the sake of my children under my belt, I humbly sit at this laptop with zero regrets, except for maybe all of the ice cream I ate. Except for all the judgment I have passed. Not just on Jena’s parenting, but on all parents who seemingly gave into the slightest discomfort of their children. Like, where is the discipline? Where are the boundaries? How are these children ever going to grow up and contribute to society if their parents say yes all of the time?
And here I am. A yes mom. I am a peaceful parent. I am a no-spanking, no-yelling, bleeding heart, parent. And I am completely confident that my children will grow up, thrive, contribute and be successful in whatever they choose to do because I don’t believe these things come from saying no to your children all of the time, or running your house like a boot camp, or seising all eye contact after sun down. I believe children become well rounded, confident, happy, and in turn, successful adults because they felt heard, they felt safe, they felt loved unconditionally, and they had just the right mix of opportunity and luck over the course of their lives. Everything else is just trivial shit you’re never going to remember on your death bed.
You want to wear that in public? Yes.
You want to only drink from the pink sippy cup from now on? Yes.
You want me to rock you all night? Yes.
You want me to wear you all day? Yes.
You want popcorn and nooch for breakfast? Yes.
You want to watch Frozen for the millionth time, today? Yes.
You want that little balloon on a stick thingy at the grocery store check out? Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, because the world is full of too many no’s. Because who is it hurting? Because this won’t negatively affect our family beyond the minor inconvenience that it is, right now. Because it won’t kill me to clean up a little play doh off the couch cushions. And also because I couldn’t possibly care any less of what you stern, stick-to-your-guns, ass-whoopin’ mamas think of my parenting.
I don’t care because I listen to my children say please, and thank you, and I love you, unscripted. I see that they are kind, they are helpful, and they are thoughtful. I watch them wake up each morning eager, curious, and with smiles on their faces. And when my husband and I rock them to sleep each night, we know that they feel heard, they feel safe, and they feel loved unconditionally. And when I finally lay down in my own bed I wish and I hope, so, so, so, hard that I can give them opportunities and that somehow they always have luck on their sides. With these things, they will be alright, and I would have done it all while giving them as many yeses as I possibly could.
Yes to impromptu beach days!
Yes to (vegan) ice cream before supper!