Different. Because, in the third grade, I didn’t know there was a word for feeling something that wasn’t happening to you, or anyone you love. Feeling it deeply, and feeling it for a long time. I did know, however, that when you care about things other people don’t care about, they are more likely to describe you as:
A drama queen
over emotional
weak
crazy
Rather than:
Compassionate
empathetic
warm
aware
Throughout my adolescence, as so many sensitive people do, I suppressed and resented and edited and conditioned myself, in order to appeal to a world in which sensitivity is rarely welcomed.
“The less you give a damn, the happier you will be.”
I’ve been watching this quote bounce around social media for quite some time. While I find it incredibly disturbing, I also find it to be very enlightening. Now I see that so many people confuse comfort with happiness. Interesting, because one could correlate comfort with fear. Many have made a habit out of sitting in their bubbles, suppressing unpleasant thoughts, pointing their fingers at those of us who openly feel feelings, and deeming us weak or even crazy. Well, maybe we aren’t the weak ones. After all, no one ever made history for not giving a damn.
One of my greatest hopes for my children is that when they see a fish flopping in a bucket, and if they feel the urge, they will unapologetically scream out loud. I hope that when they feel something deeply, they will express that, rather than editing themselves to help others remain comfortable. That they know, their sensitivity is not a weakness. It is their greatest gift.