Cruelty Free Family » Journal

How to Give Up Cheese in 3 Easy Steps!

Beth — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 18:56:34 +0000

A lot of people tell me they’d be vegan, but they just can’t live without cheese. Trust me. I get it. I loved cheese. Parmesan. Feta. Smoked Gouda. I was vegan-except-for-cheese for a long time. But cheese is bad for you, and it’s REALLY bad for cows!

1. Stop eating cheese. Ok, this sounds simple, but you really actually have to follow through on this one. Stop eating cheese! Get it out of your house. Don’t buy it. Don’t order it at restaurants. Throw away that can of Parmesan in your fridge.

2. Buy cheese alternatives. A couple of years ago, I would have told you to stay far, far away from “fake” cheese. Vegan cheese has a reputation for tasting like plastic. There are still a LOT of nasty tasting vegan cheese on the market, but in recent years, there are a few brands who are actually making vegan cheese that are actually delicious, complex, and worthy of the name cheese. These are my favorite brands:

Field Roast Chao Slices (melts really well, makes a great grilled cheese!)
Kite Hill (great for those fancy cheese plates! the even make a vegan Brie!)
Heidi Ho Organics (awesome nut and chia based cheeses!)
Follow Your Heart (I ONLY recommend their new soy-free slices and blocks. The “Vegan Gourmet” line of shreds and blocks have that fake plastic taste. But their new line of cheese is incredibly good!)
Tree Line Cheese (really good French style soft, spreadable vegan cheese!)
Miyoko’s Kitchen (I have yet to try this cheese since it must be ordered online, but I’ve heard it’s life changing. Just go look at the website and weep over the beautiful cheeses!)

3. Make your own cheese!

Annessia’s Smokey Cheddar Cauli N’ Cheez
Have you tried cashew cheese yet? No? Well what are you waiting for? Cashew cheese is delicious! Get yourself a big bag of raw cashews, a food processor or blender, and some nutritional yeast. You’ll be in creamy, cheesy heaven. Here are some of our favorite cheesy Cruelty Free Family recipes:

Giving up cheese may feel next to impossible, especially when we live in a world where cheese is sprinkled and melted on top of almost everything. But a cheese-free life is NOT impossible, and once you give it a try, you’ll learn that it’s not even all that hard. Your digestive tract, arteries, and all the dairy cows in the world will thank you greatly!

Beth’s French Onion Soup (with melty cheese)

Day Trip Tips

Annessia — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 23:11:20 +0000

My husband and I have been taking some day trips with our kids while we are still blizzard free, here in Canada. These trips have been the highlights of our summer, and a complete blast for our kiddos! If I’m honest, although extremely rewarding, day trippin’ with three small children isn’t easy. It requires some serious planning. Here are some of the tricks we have discovered along the way. Happy travels!

food & water:

Instead of spending your money in restaurants, put it towards gas for your next day trip! And pack easy-to-eat foods! Finger foods! Raw fruits and vegetables, crackers, popcorn, wraps, sandwiches, granola bars, etc. These are great for picnic-style and/or car eating.

extra extra food:

I don’t know why, but it seems we are always hungrier than we think we are going to be. My suggestion is pack what you think you’re going to eat, and then double it.

cleaning supplies:

I pack wet washcloths in baggies for dirty hands and faces, corn starch/baby powder to get beach sand off of the kids before they get into the car. Also paper towels are a good idea, my two year old gets car sick once in a while.

extra clothes:

I bring all the kids an extra set of clothes, you know, in case of car sickness. The temperature changes depending on if you are at the beach or in town. If you’re going to be out all day, it’ll also be colder in the evening. Nothing ruins fun like being chilled! So, pack those extra layers, and maybe long pants if you will be leaving the house in shorts.

bring cash:

Ya never know when you’re going to pass a lemonade stand, or a place will charge a couple bucks to get in.

wear the little ones:

The really young kiddos will get tired out easily. If you have an ergo, or other baby carrier, take that with you. It’s a nice place for a toddler to have a snooze. A lot of people may want to opt for a stroller, as wearing a child can be hard on the back. The great thing about wearing your baby is, you can go off roading! When your back gets tired, hand the baby off to another adult.

go with the flow:

Don’t get too hung up on “the plan”. Sometimes the kids don’t want to take a hike, they would rather stay on the beach. Sometimes they are fascinated with an area you didn’t plan on spending three hours at. But, hey! Just go with it.

What Do Vegan Babies Eat?

Beth — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 21:37:31 +0000

At six months old, my little guy had his first taste of solid food. There’s lots of ways to feed your baby solids. Some parents start with rice cereal. Some feed their babies puréed veggies. And some let their babies self-feed, also known as baby-led weaning. (In UK English “weaning” refers to the introduction of solid foods, not the ending of breast/bottle feeding).

For our family, baby led weaning sounded like the perfect choice. You literally feed your baby what you’re eating. Of course, there are a few things babies shouldn’t eat, like salt, sugar, and choking hazards. But for the most part, babies love trying new foods! Teeth aren’t necessary for chewing food, as any breastfeeding mother will tell you, those little baby gums are plenty strong!

To start baby led weaning, babies typically need to be six months of age, and sitting up without support. I’d also suggest talking to your pediatrician before starting solid foods, and doing some research. We got the green light from our doc, so we decided to enter the incredible world of food!

The first food we fed our little herbivore was avocado. We cut up some avocado into finger-sized pieces, making it easier for his chubby baby fingers to grab. We put them on his tray. He picked up a piece, smiled, and took a huge bite! I was terrified he would choke, but he moved the food around in his mouth, chewed it, spit out what didn’t fit, and swallowed the rest. It was amazing! And by the huge smile on his face, I knew my baby was pretty proud of himself, too.

After avocado, we started introducing a variety of different foods. We typically feed our baby a little of whatever we are eating. For example, if I’m making sweet potato flautas, I’ll save some baked sweet potato wedges for the baby. If I’m adding salt to a dish, I remove his portion before salting.

So what do vegan babies eat? Whatever their parents eat! Our baby eats everything! Broccoli, bell peppers, cucumbers, oatmeal, ravioli, tahini, beans, quinoa, homemade veggie burgers, tofu, cantaloupe, coconut butter, fresh tomatoes, kale smoothies… And those are just a few of his favorite foods!

What are the perks of feeding your baby chunks of food instead of puréed?

Well, for one, I don’t have to buy or prepare special food for my baby. Most of the time, I know he can eat whatever we’re having. This saves me lots of time and energy, and dinner time is way less stressful. It also teaches him to feed himself, and he stops when he’s full and doesn’t overeat. He’s also getting some great fine motor skill practice picking up chunks of food! And there’s perks for me, too: we have been eating healthier as a family, since we are motivated to serve our baby healthy, whole foods!

My favorite part, though, is sitting down to dinner as a family, pulling the high chair in close, and talking to my baby as we eat our food together. I feel like we are equals at the table. We eat. We chat. We laugh. Sometimes we get a little (or a lot!) on the floor.

I know plenty of loving families that feed their babies puréed baby food, and I’m not knocking that. Feeding a six month old chunks of food can be intimidating! For our family, I’m glad we chose not to go the mush route. It’s been a really fun adventure!

Samuel’s first bite of food!

I’m Not an Animal Lover

Annessia — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 22:59:52 +0000

A vegan who doesn’t love animals. Have you ever heard of such a thing? A vegan who gladly leaves her dog at home when she goes to the park or the beach. Or who doesn’t inevitably end up petting the cat at every friends’ house party. No, I am not what you would call an animal lover. In fact, the one animal I do have drives me batty. He is a “lap dog” and I am a mom of three, three and under, so the amount of time he spends on my lap has hugely decreased over the years.

Simply put, I became a vegan because I know that all earthlings, who are capable of feeling fear and pain, should never feel those feelings. And while I did not become a vegan because I feel some overwhelming spiritual pull towards animals, to me, the bigger oxymoron is the fact that so many who claim to be animal lovers… eat animals.

I’m talking about the sort of people that break car windows to save a dog from dying in a hot car…on their way into a burger joint. The ones who spend their Saturday volunteering at an animal shelter, and their Sunday at a family BBQ eating hotdogs. The ones who are on social media, sharing their outrage over the death of Cecile the lion, all while eating their chicken salad sandwich.

This is speciesism. To look at some animals as companions, and others, who have the same ability to feel love and pain, and who have the same (or higher) intelligence levels, as FOOD, creates this overwhelming disconnect between our values and our practices. Pigs, cows, and chickens, along with all farmed animals have personalities. They are lovable. They are affectionate. The reasons we love and bond with our cats and dogs are the exact reasons one should choose a vegan life style.

Love Yourself!

Beth — Sun, 23 Aug 2015 18:33:48 +0000

My sweet baby boy,

You are seven months old. When you look in the mirror at yourself, you smile the brightest smile. You kiss your reflection. You love your body. You love yourself.

I hope that you always love yourself, my child, for you are amazing. You are unique. No one is exactly like you. No one has your exact nose, or eyes, or legs, or toes. No one can replace you.

I hope to teach you that your body is an incredible thing. It can move and grow. It can get hurt. It can heal.

Your body might get pudgy. Or skinny. You might be short, or tall. Your body might be covered in hair, or pimples, scars, or freckles. All of these things are ok. Bodies are ALWAYS changing. I never want you to feel ashamed of your body.

I want to teach you to respect other people’s bodies. We are all different colors and shapes. No two bodies are exactly alike. (Yes, even twins.)

Our bodies do not need to be fixed with diets or surgery. There are people who do not agree with this. They think that fat bodies are bad, and that people need to look a certain way to be beautiful. I hope that you don’t listen to these people, because they are very, very wrong. Our bodies are perfect in their variety.

We feed our bodies healthy foods and exercise our bodies to feel strong and happy. But doing those things does not make us a better person than someone else. Goodness comes from your heart, not from how you look.

I want to teach you that women’s bodies and men’s bodies are different, but that doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. Women can be strong, too. Women’s bodies sometimes get pregnant, and have periods, and breastfeed babies. These things aren’t weird or gross.

I want to teach you that no one should touch your body unless you want them to. No one should make you feel bad about your body. It’s not ok to touch someone that doesn’t want to be touched. It not ok to do or say something that makes someone feel hurt.

Your body will grow. Your body will take you all over the world. Your body is yours. Your body is imperfect, but in those imperfections it is unique and beautiful. I hope that you will always see it that way.

For now, I will watch you look in the mirror and smile at your reflection. And I will look in the mirror and smile at my reflection, too.

He’s Here!

Annessia — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 22:32:31 +0000

Baby Griffin arrived on August 12th at 2:54 am after a loonnnnggg 2.5 days of induction and labour, weighing 7 pounds 15 ounces. It was one of the most incredible, joyful, and surprising moments of my life, as we did not find out the sex via ultrasound this time.

Needless to say, we are totally blissed out, and feel so fortunate to bring another healthy, happy, cruelty free kiddo into the world.

Special thanks to my Momma for keeping my bigger kids alive, keeping my house on point, and even… wait for it…pressure washing all of my rugs.

Griffin’s first latch. The first time he looked at me.

Part Time Vegans

Beth — Sun, 09 Aug 2015 22:34:04 +0000

Today, I’m going to address those of you who aren’t vegan, but like vegan food. You’re either transitioning to veganism and aren’t 100% there yet, or you’re happy being mostly vegan. This post is for you!

You eat mostly plants. Sometimes you eat fish. Or cheese. You wear leather. And silk. But most days, you drink almond milk smoothies, eat a lot of hummus, kale, and chia seeds, and heck, you even order the veggie burger off the menu!

You don’t call yourself a vegan, and you constantly worry that “real” vegans are judging you. Because you’re not good enough. Not pure enough.

And, well, vegans do judge you. Mostly because we were you once! And we just want you to know that making the leap to full time veganism isn’t so hard. We did it. We know you can too.

If you’re a part time vegan and you find it’s just really hard to make that leap to full time plant eating, you’re not alone! There’s support out there to help you. Make friends with your local vegan community, or find virtual support through social media. Having friends that are vegan is the best way to stick with it. I don’t know what I’d do without my vegan support system!

In the beginning, you might make a few mistakes. You might eat something with animal products in it by accident or ignorance. You might give in to a craving. Those things happen. It doesn’t make you a failure. Just start back up with your next meal. Before you know it, being vegan will become second nature!

And vegans? Stop being so mean to part time vegans! Most of them aren’t hypocrites, most of them are good people who are trying to do better. They’re just not all the way there yet. Instead of being judgy, support our semi-vegan friends. Invite them to dinner. Share recipes with them. Be supportive. Realize that every meal that is eaten that doesn’t hurt animals is a victory. Part time vegans help the cause, too. And hopefully one day, they’ll join our team for good!

So… You Forgot To Plan Dinner

Annessia — Sun, 02 Aug 2015 15:53:16 +0000

So it’s Thursday (the worst day of the week, in my opinion) the kids are melting down, you’re melting down, and you glance at the clock. Holy hell! It’s 5:30! No wonder everyone’s a hot mess, you’re all hangry! This is when you start frantically opening kitchen cabinets, pulling God-knows-what out of your pantry, and simultaneously realizing you need to go grocery shopping. What are you going to have?! Why do these people want food EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKING. DAY?! Didn’t you just clean up from lunch?

Yeah, this happens to me more often than I’d like to admit, and wayyyyyy more frequently these days, being 40 plus weeks pregnant and all. When it does, these are the meals I’m able to whip up no matter how fried my brain is.

Breakfast

Isa’s Puffy Pillow Pancakes, of course! If you have a block of tofu, make a scramble. Cut up some fruit and you’re good to go. Sometimes if i’m feeling extra ambitious, I take that fruit and cook it down with some citrus or agave to make a home made fruity syrup.

Smoothies & popcorn

This is actually a frequent meal in my house, especially for lunch. It’s a toddler fav! I make stove top popcorn, sprinkle some “cheese” aka nutritional yeast on there, blend some frozen fruit, greens, and almond milk. BAM! A pretty nutritious 5 minute meal. It literally takes 5 minutes.

Pasta

We all have pasta in the pantry, most days. Even if you don’t have canned or fresh tomatoes you can still whip up a simple vegan sauce. I’ll sauté some garlic, add some almond milk, a splash of red wine vinegar or a squeeze of lemon juice, a pinch or two of nutritional yeast, fresh herbs if I have them, plus salt and pepper. Creamy, garlicky pasta! Hell yeah! And if that is too much work, because on Thursdays it always is, quit after you sauté the garlic. One of my favourite meals growing up was plain pasta tossed in garlic and olive oil.

Soup

You can make soup out of pretty much anything! It’s a great rainy or cold day option.

Buddha bowls/burrito bowls/abundance bowls

Have some left over rice? Have some left over beans? Mix the beans and the rice, throw in some raw or roasted veg, make a simple dressing, and there you have it. The possibilities are seriously endless. The idea is to get a protein, and grain, a healthy fat (like mashed avocado), and some vegetables/greens all in one bowl. It’s pretty much my favourite way to use up leftovers.

Sandwiches

What are you too good for a PB and J these days? Get over yourself!

A big nosh plate

I’ll make some sort of dip (hummus, black bean, ranch, etc) and cut up whatever raw vegetables I have on hand. If I have nuts I’ll throw those on the plate. Olives! Pickles! Slice up some fruit, add some crackers or sliced bread. I mean, I’ve even cut up granola bars. No need to set the table. Everyone just munches from this one big plate of randomness. All the textures, colours, and the fact that it’s all finger food make it a super fun family meal.

Stir fry

I always have some frozen mixed vegetables in my freezer. A stir fry sauce is insanely easy, usually consisting of soy sauce, a sweetener (agave, brown sugar, etc), a splash of lime or rice wine vinegar, vegetable broth, and some spices (garlic, ginger, etc). Serve over noodles or rice.

Casserole

If I have leftover pasta, rice, beans, vegetables, that sort of stuff sitting in the fridge, I’ll freshen it up some vegetable broth, cashew cheese, diced tomatoes, and spices. Then I just pour everything into a casserole dish and bake. Dinner is ready in half an hour, tops!

Take out

When all else fails, just make someone else make your food. We all need a break sometimes. Bonus: Zero dishes!

Balloon Releases = Litter

Annessia — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 22:16:08 +0000

Today I want to touch on something I see everywhere, all over social media, that makes my head want to explode with rage and sadness: Balloon releases.

Balloon releases are when you let go of a balloon, on purpose, with complete disregard of where it will end up after you go home for the day and have forgotten all about it. The string may be wrapped around a bird’s neck, the balloon bits drifting out into the ocean, but who cares, right? You enjoyed it, for that one minute. You drew on the balloon or attached a card with something written on it. You lost someone, or are celebrating something, so you feel entitled to litter. Whatttttt thhheeeeeee….

Doesn’t it seem a little twisted to honour or remember a life by putting wild life, marine life, and our planet at risk? Doesn’t it seem like it should be illegal EVERYWHERE to have balloon releases, while it is estimated that there are already 46,000 pieces of plastic in every square mile of our oceans?

Guys, I get it. Balloons are pretty. Releasing a ton of them at once into a bright blue sky is mesmerizing. I’m a sentimental gal, I get writing your problems down on a card, attaching it to a balloon and “letting it go, forever”. I get writing a message for a loved one and “sending it up to heaven”. I have a soul, OK? The problem is, well, I have a soul, so I want to tell you that the balloons never get to heaven. They come down along with the strings and the cards. They litter our lands and oceans and land animals and marine life alike mistake these balloons for food and they get entangled in the strings.

What’s more disturbing is that in many of these pictures and videos I see posted, children are doing the releasing. What kind of message is this sending to the next generation? That nothing matters beyond our momentary pleasure or entertainment. That the planet will always sustain us, no matter how poorly we treat it.

If you’re thinking about participating in a balloon release, big or small, I urge you to consider these cruelty free alternatives. We are responsible for our own actions and every person’s actions have impact on the future of this planet.

To remember:

Blow bubbles.

Plant a tree.

Plant a garden of perennials.

Light a candle.

To let go:

Have a balloon stomp (and pick up the pieces).

Release flower petals into steams, lakes, oceans, etc.

To celebrate:

Fly a kite.

Collect and paint rocks to place around your home.

Make streamers or flyers.

The Bitter Truth About Chocolate

Beth — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 22:17:40 +0000

Chocolate. One of life’s greatest pleasures. And it comes from a plant, so it’s totally vegan right?

Well yes. Cacao, the plant that provides us with the delicious beans that make chocolate, is totally vegan, as long as dairy or other animal products aren’t added to it, like they are in milk chocolate. So dark chocolate is usually vegan. Lots of chocolate chips are vegan. Cocoa power is definitely vegan!

But is it cruelty free?

Unfortunately, for much of the chocolate in the world, the answer is no.

70% of the world’s chocolate comes from Western Africa. Mostly Ghana and the Ivory Coast. If you’re eating a candy bar, a chocolate chip cookie, or some chocolate ice cream, chances are that your chocolate came from West Africa. Even if it’s vegan chocolate.

And chances are, your chocolate was picked by children. By slaves.

Yeah. Slaves.

You see, there’s still a lot of slavery in the agricultural industry. And chocolate is one of the worst offenders. These children are trafficked, abused, and starved, all while they work countless hours of backbreaking labor harvesting cacao.

Yeah. Chocolate doesn’t taste so good when you know the truth, does it?

Well, fortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t want to support slavery in the chocolate industry, which is why you’ll see some chocolate products nowadays are fair trade certified. That fair trade certification means that the farms sourcing the chocolate pay their workers and don’t use slaves or children. There’s a great website, Food Empowerment Project, that lists brands of chocolate that are slavery-free. They also have a handy dandy app, so that you can search their chocolate list while you’re shopping! It’s very helpful.

Does fair trade chocolate cost more? Yes. It does usually cost a little bit more. But you know what? Chocolate is NOT an essential food, as much as I think it is. So I’d rather spend a couple more dollars on cruelty free chocolate than save a buck and support slavery.

Can’t find fair trade chocolate chips or cocoa powder at your local store? Well, my friends, that’s why there’s internet shopping! We order our fair trade raw cacao powder online in bulk and save quite a bit by doing so.

Do I 100% of the time eat fair trade chocolate? No. I’ve slipped up from time to time. I’ve had chocolate sorbet on vacation because I was SO EXCITED that it was vegan, I’ve bought “regular” vegan chocolate chips when I couldn’t find fair trade. I’ve supported small vegan businesses that don’t use fair trade chocolate, because there’s nothing I love more than supporting a vegan business. But just like my transition to veganism, I am transitioning to cruelty free chocolate. My goal is by the end of 2015 to only be consuming fair trade chocolate!

I have a long way to go before I’m a fully conscious consumer. But I’m making changes. And chocolate is a great place to start!

Why I Always Say Yes To My Kids

Annessia — Sun, 05 Jul 2015 18:33:26 +0000

Pre kids, I made a lot of trips to New York where a ton of my family lives. Most of my time there was spent with one of my favourite people in the whole wide world, my cousin Jena. In the evenings we’d eat copious amounts of ice cream, go hot tubbing, and laugh a ton. Jena has a sweet little boy, and it seemed she was forever rocking him. Forever trying to make this kid go to sleep. And I was forever judging her for this. I thought to myself (and probably said out loud a few times), when I have children I will put them in their cribs and they will go to sleep. And if they don’t, well tough, because I won’t be spending hours rocking them when I could be hot tubbing and laughing with grown ups.

Oh pre kid Annessia, you idiot.

Two (almost three) kids later, hundreds of hours of rocking and generally inconveniencing myself for the sake of my children under my belt, I humbly sit at this laptop with zero regrets, except for maybe all of the ice cream I ate. Except for all the judgment I have passed. Not just on Jena’s parenting, but on all parents who seemingly gave into the slightest discomfort of their children. Like, where is the discipline? Where are the boundaries? How are these children ever going to grow up and contribute to society if their parents say yes all of the time?

And here I am. A yes mom. I am a peaceful parent. I am a no-spanking, no-yelling, bleeding heart, parent. And I am completely confident that my children will grow up, thrive, contribute and be successful in whatever they choose to do because I don’t believe these things come from saying no to your children all of the time, or running your house like a boot camp, or seising all eye contact after sun down. I believe children become well rounded, confident, happy, and in turn, successful adults because they felt heard, they felt safe, they felt loved unconditionally, and they had just the right mix of opportunity and luck over the course of their lives. Everything else is just trivial shit you’re never going to remember on your death bed.

So…

You want to wear that in public? Yes.
You want to only drink from the pink sippy cup from now on? Yes.
You want me to rock you all night? Yes.
You want me to wear you all day? Yes.
You want popcorn and nooch for breakfast? Yes.
You want to watch Frozen for the millionth time, today? Yes.
You want that little balloon on a stick thingy at the grocery store check out? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, because the world is full of too many no’s. Because who is it hurting? Because this won’t negatively affect our family beyond the minor inconvenience that it is, right now. Because it won’t kill me to clean up a little play doh off the couch cushions. And also because I couldn’t possibly care any less of what you stern, stick-to-your-guns, ass-whoopin’ mamas think of my parenting.

I don’t care because I listen to my children say please, and thank you, and I love you, unscripted. I see that they are kind, they are helpful, and they are thoughtful. I watch them wake up each morning eager, curious, and with smiles on their faces. And when my husband and I rock them to sleep each night, we know that they feel heard, they feel safe, and they feel loved unconditionally. And when I finally lay down in my own bed I wish and I hope, so, so, so, hard that I can give them opportunities and that somehow they always have luck on their sides. With these things, they will be alright, and I would have done it all while giving them as many yeses as I possibly could.

Yes to impromptu beach days!

Yes to (vegan) ice cream before supper!

Don’t Cut Me!

Beth — Mon, 29 Jun 2015 22:29:43 +0000

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while, but every time I sit down to write it, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s the feeling you get when you know that something is deeply, truly wrong. It’s the feeling I got the day I realized just how cruel animal agriculture is. It’s the feeling that I get when I read in the news about police brutality and school shootings. It’s the feeling that makes me want to stand up and shout WE CAN DO BETTER! That feeling is the very reason I’m writing this post.

Well, what’s making me feel so nauseated? It all started when I was pregnant. And no, it wasn’t morning sickness.

I was just a few weeks pregnant, thinking about my future baby boy or girl. And I thought to myself, Well, if we have a boy, he’s going to have to get circumcised. My husband is Jewish…. it just wasn’t something you questioned.

…wasn’t something you questioned.

Wait. What?!

I immediately became skeptical of myself. Why am I NOT questioning circumcision? I question everything in my life, from having children, to eating animal products, to the origin of the coffee I had with my breakfast. Clearly, I needed to do some research.

So I did some researching. And the more I researched, the more I felt that sick feeling in my stomach. It turns out that no medical organization in the U.S., or anywhere else in the world for that matter, deems circumcision as a medically necessary surgery. I didn’t even realize that it was a surgery before I did my research, but it IS a surgery. And like all surgeries, it comes with risks. Even potential death.

“Surgical removal of the foreskin involves immobilizing the baby by strapping him face-up onto a molded plastic board. In one common method, the doctor then inserts a metal instrument under the foreskin to forcibly separate it from the glans, slits the foreskin, and inserts a circumcision device. The foreskin is crushed and then cut off. The amount of skin removed in a typical infant circumcision is the equivalent of 15 square inches in an adult male.” (from intactamerica.org)

I was beginning to feel nauseous. Very nauseous. But just like when I began to learn the truth about animal agriculture, I knew I couldn’t just ignore this information I was reading. I did more research. I read how the analgesics used during infant circumcisions do not eliminate the pain felt. It is still an incredibly painful procedure.

A painful surgery that isn’t medically necessary? On my son’s genitals!? This sounded nightmarish. I began to realize that maybe the reason more than half of all American newborn males were still being circumcised wasn’t because it was a lifesaving, medically necessary procedure. It’s more about tradition. About fitting in. About wanting to look like dad.

Well, my husband and I are not ones to just go with the popular consensus just because it’s popular. If we did that, we’d be eating cheeseburgers for dinner tonight (We are eating cheeseburgers for dinner tonight, actually. But the burgers are made from quinoa, and the cheese is made from coconuts!) So I sat down with my husband and presented him with my research.

Now, my husband is Jewish. He’s not religious. He’s a secular Jew. A “Jon Stewart” Jew, we joke in our house. But he’s still Jewish, and we celebrate Jewish holidays, and read Jewish history, and sit Shiva when a family member dies. We make Yiddish jokes. Many parts of Judaism are important to us, and as I sat there, pregnant with our child, we looked forward to sharing those holidays and Yiddish jokes with this little person we were going to welcome into our family. It just felt so very un-Jewish to be questioning circumcision, one of those Jewish traditions that seemed so set in stone. But that’s exactly what we were doing.

In the end, after reading all the facts, we came to a conclusion: circumcision was not something that we were going to elect for our child. We feel that it is a cruel, painful, unnecessary procedure, and putting a baby through something like that just didn’t mesh with our family’s core values. We decided that our family believes in body autonomy, and that unless a painful procedure was medically necessary and lifesaving, that we would not be performing them on our child. And to us, circumcision certainly fell into this category.

Does this mean our child would not be Jewish? To some, yes. But in all honesty, having a non-Jewish mother technically means you’re not Jewish at all, so we aren’t exactly concerned with what religion our child is labeled. We’re not big fans of religion anyway, since religion teaches you not to question things. We are, however, big fans of heritage. We’re happy to teach him about his ancestors and Jewish roots. He’ll also be learning about his Italian, Irish, and German heritage, too.

Does this mean our child won’t look like his father? Well, as most of you know, our baby has been around for a few months now. And guess what?! He doesn’t look like his father. He doesn’t have the same hair, or the same nose, or the same mouth. Sure, there are parts of him that resemble his dad. He has his dad’s dark brown eyes, and soft eye creases that turn up when he smiles. He has his dad’s olive skin. But no, he is not a clone of his father. They look different. That’s how genetics works, you guys. So we really don’t think it’s a big deal that they don’t look exactly the same “down there.”

I’m really proud of my husband for supporting this choice, for doing research with me, and for going against the grain. He is the one who taught me about animal cruelty, and inspired me to go vegan, and I’m glad that I could teach him about this. I know people may think he was forced into this decision by his crazy crunchy hippie wife, but he and I know we both made this choice for our child together, as a team. I’m really, really happy that we chose to leave our son intact. Every time I look at our perfectly healthy son, I can’t help but think of how much I love him. And how I never want him to suffer. And how I just couldn’t imagine putting him in pain, and removing a sensitive body part, if we didn’t have to.

We’re a cruelty free family. We don’t kill and eat animals. We don’t steal their milk. We don’t wear dead animals skins or fibers. We don’t breed or buy animals. We don’t force animals to perform. We don’t perform experiments on innocent beings. We don’t support slavery. We don’t support the destruction of the planet. We don’t scream at our children. We don’t spank our children. And we also don’t cut our children.